Some think God is helping Tebow win games. Not true. What’s really happening is that God is using Tebow to purify the church. Think of all those carnal Christians Tebow is keeping from fellowshiping with their brothers and sisters in Christ and worshiping the living God because of his chosen profession. The fact is Tebow is causing people to sin because he chooses to play a sport that so dominates the Lord’s Day that it requires those employed by Networks and Stadiums to set aside their calling to not forsake gathering together with the people of God on the day God has set aside for His Worship.

Bet you didn’t see that one coming. No one ever does. And that’s why I’m the Theological Ninja!

Ear-tickling heretic makes the cover of TIME. Perhaps the end is near. Galatians 5:12

The fairest babe that has entered life this year, and become the sunbeam of a family, is not, as its mother perhaps fondly calls it, a little “angel,” or a little “innocent,” but a little “sinner.” Alas! as it lies smiling and crowing in its cradle, that little creature carries in its heart the seeds of every kind of wickedness! Only watch it carefully, as it grows in stature and its mind developes, and you will soon detect in it an incessant tendency to that which is bad, and a backwardness to that which is good. You will see in it the buds and germs of deceit, evil temper, selfishness, self-will, obstinacy, greediness, envy, jealousy, passion-which, if indulged and let alone, will shoot up with painful rapidity. Who taught the child these things? Where did he learn them? The Bible alone can answer these questions!-Of all the foolish things that parents say about their children there is none worse than the common saying, “My son has a good heart at the bottom. He is not what he ought to be; but he has fallen into bad hands. Public schools are bad places.

I especially agree with that last sentence about public schools. But I don’t want to get sidetracked here. I know that you have taken care to baptize your evil little infant (Question 95, hello!?). But maybe not everyone knows it. Don’t you know that the Bible says that the fruit of your wombs are a reward and that you will not be put to shame when you speak to your enemies at the gate? Therefore, take heart, and be unashamed in proclaiming your Reformed Faith to the nations by dressing your child clothing that proclaims the gospel! Shop at ReformedBabies.com.

An example of such can be found from Genesis 3:8 (English Standard Version):

And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.

Here, Adam and Eve fail to understand God’s attribute of omniscience. Likes babes they believed that God was embodied and limited in sense. Their hiding among the trees only reveals their staggering ignorance that God knew where they were at all times. They also failed to understand that God was omnipresent and is so even in the tormented faces of hell.

If only they had meditated on these truths they would have avoided the Fall.

The free market is the solution to poverty. If a man will not work he will not eat.

Anyway, I thought I would post something a little lighter today: about things I hate. You want to know what I hate? Florida.

Just look at how stupid it is. It looks like a big loogie dripping off the chin of the continental USA. Also, Miss Florida isn’t very pretty.

You wann know what else I hate? The butterfly ballot. I so got screwed by that thing. Some place, somewhere there is a hanging chad that was counted in favor of Pat Buchanan. Ok, I admit the ballot served me well–that’s who I voted for–but I still hate Florida.

Now I know what you’re thinkging… What are you thinking, Ninja? That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard of. Well let me tell you how I know: The Bible. And this infallible Sumerian-English Gematria Calculator calculator that deciperhs the “Bible Code.” Based upon this letter to number calculator using a factor of six, the letter ‘a’ represents the number 6, the letter ‘b’, the number 12, the letter ‘c’, the number 18, and so on. Using this system, if you enter in ‘OBAMAWARREN’, you get 666! No joke, this is true. And from this truth it follows that Obama, who is the anti-Christ, will pick Rick Warren to be his running mate.

How’s that for purpose-driven apostasy?

 So it looks like pagan Hollyweird is making another movie about the Bible. Blasphemous. Don’t they realize that by calling a man (“Evan”) the “Almightly” they are deifying man and bringing God low? What would you expect, though, from Hollyweird?

I’ll tell you what I wouldn’t expect. I wouldn’t expect professing Christians to go see this movie. I know, I know some people think it is a matter of conscience–a gray area. But this is not a gray area. This is not a matter of conscience. This is a matter of obedience. Many of the movies Christians like have someone at sometime in the film taking the Lord’s name in vain, i.e. Spiderman, Harry Potter, Bruce, Evan and dare I say the “Christians all-time favorite”… the Princess Bride.

By watching these films you have put entertainment over the command of God! That is sin, plan and simple. We, as professing believers are doing a shameful job of representing Christ to the world.